My Pic

My Pic

Welcome to my little Corner

I am Barbara.

An introvert masquerading as an extrovert, a backyard gardener with a farmer's heart, a nurse by day and a dreamer by night. I am passionate about Jesus, spicy food, puppy dogs, words, compost and the aroma of desert rain. Music is chocolate to my soul but solitude feeds the deepest part of me.

And you need to know:

I have been rescued.

Several times actually. Right out of the mud and mire. My writing began as whispers between me and my God and it will always be rooted in that soil. So the plan is simple: I write. Out of the overflow of my heart, the place He has so generously chosen to dwell.

Though I am all grown up, I feel as if the handsome Prince has finally found me and the glass slipper fits. And a living breathing fairy tale has ensued.

So pull up a chair and "sit a spell", as we would say from my West Virginia roots. I hope you find His Footprints here.

Saturday, June 28, 2014

The Writing on the Wall (or Table)

The show room lights rained down upon the outdoor furniture display.  Like Goldilocks, I tried out the chair for a fit and it did not disappoint. Even the table was "just right".  I could already envision it nestled outside our bedroom window, a perch for a good read, birdwatching and relaxation.  Yes, it would fit the empty space perfectly.
The table and chair set found its home in the spot that I imagined; it filled the space but it didn’t fill me.  Not like I thought it would.  I can't even remember the last time that I sat there.  The desert dust collects on the table top as the chair's fabric sears under the blaze of the southwestern sun, a daily reminder of the appetite I have for stuff and how little value it holds in the end. 

There is something about a vacant place that seeks fulfillment.  This time I would fill with a table and chairs that in the end, didn’t meet any real need.  More often, the vacant place is within me.  Wants blur into needs and I forget the countless items in my life that just occupy space, time and upkeep without any real reward.   

Truth be told, there is a cost.

Deut 32:15 says “Jeshurun (a poetic word for Israel) grew fat and kicked; filled with food, they became heavy and sleek.  They abandoned the God who made them and rejected the Rock their Savior”

The fatter we become, the less our awareness of what really satisfies.  We want Egypt's bread instead of early morning tidbits of manna that we cannot store up.  These earthly counterfeits take up residence in our lives while heaven's accumulated treasure plummets into negative numbers.  Like the Israelites, our hearts revert to idolatry even when we have tasted so much more.

We can run and fill haphazardly or we can quiet our hearts and listen to the real need.  These days I am running way too much, filling with the temporal, all the while hungering for nuggets in the hillside that must be mined.   I shake my head when I read the foolishness of the Israelites but I fare no better.

In His grand design, when God fills, it is as a spring rather than an inlet.    While it may nourish us, it's extended purpose is always for something beyond us.  Our flesh says "fill me" but the Spirit says "fill and then empty".  In God's upside down Kingdom, we find the fullest expression of who we are created to be.

And it's a perfect fit every time.