You were there weren't You Lord? When our hearts were split open, raw and bleeding. The day we watched our beautiful daughter rain down tears upon the newborn she cradled. You came in the midst of our celebration, inconceivably disguised in the rags of Cystic Fibrosis and brought devastation.
There was no way to prepare for this - our very personal 9/11. We were floating in new baby bliss and absorbed with frilly pink dresses when the diagnosis first struck the safe fortress we had erected. We prayed, we bargained and we denied reality. We even dared to ask for that miracle. Minutes stretched into hours and hours into days as fear morphed into reality.
But we would relive that day again a thousand times to know the joys of this first year. Not because You healed our baby, but because you healed us. You gave us unending joy in the midst of circumstances we would never choose and a celebration of milestones and moments that are rendered ordinary in the absence of a life threatening disease. A precious little girl captivates us every minute of every day, enriching our lives. In reality, we are all better people because of our Aubrey. I now understand that You didn't cheat us. The truth is, You loved us way too much to give us the “lesser things” we thought we had to have. Pain has seared the film from our eyes, restoring our perspective on what is good and what really matters.
Last week we celebrated her first birthday. We sang. We clapped. And we wiped sticky frosting off of a happy little cherub’s face. Our spirits soared in ecstasy as we watched her take hesitant steps upon wobbly legs, reaching for a future that You hold in Your Hands.
And each time I kiss that velvety skin and see her blue eyes dance with laughter, I know it can’t get any better than this.