Sweet Honesty

I confess Mrs V.   I really had been drinking at that high school dance.  When you uncovered it and informed my mother, I remained steadfast in denial.  Perhaps my mother wanted to believe that you were a busybody or wrong about my involvement.  She never really trusted people anyway.  Or maybe she just needed to believe me because of how it reflected upon her.

But the lie has weighed heavily upon me over the years.  Recently, I saw a picture of you on Facebook.   You are elderly but still beautiful with your perfectly coiffured gray hair.  I can just hear that sweet Southern accent.  And I wonder.  Did you know?  Did you realize that my parents were duped?  And could you ever have guessed that I would live with the shame of it?

As an adult, I have had numerous dreams about you.  In every scenario, I am stressing about what you think of me.  Usually my house is a wreck or there is some other glaring deficiency in me.  And I've wondered.  Does my obsession with you relate to the dirty little secret that we share?  Would I feel the burden lift if I spilled the truth after all these years?

Mrs V.- Are you out there?  I am really sorry that I lied.  You see, I was desperate to protect myself. I had not met Him yet.  He is my protector now.  I didn't know that it could be like this.  And you probably didn't either.  I hadn't known of love this unconditional.  But now I do.  I grieve that I may have destroyed your friendship with my Mom.  I only wish that you could know the person I am now - freed up and brand new in Christ.

And Mrs V, if you are listening, I hope you've found Him too - the One who wipes the slate clean and heals little girl's regrets.  Even when she is all grown up.